Where's Walter?
by Gatewriter
Summary: Walter takes a day off...What could possibly go wrong?


**Where's Walter?**

**Summary: Walter takes a day off…What could possibly go wrong?**

**Warnings/Spoilers: None**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate…and I didn't get it for Christmas. *Darn***

**A/N: This is written for the challenge 'Walter takes a Holiday'. Please review!**

0o0o0o0o0

"Hey, Phillips! It is Phillips, right?" General O'Neill waltzed up to a tremble-y looking gate technician with a slight frame and short dark brown hair. In the dimly lit Gate room, O'Neill saw that the young man knew nothing of what was coming.

"Y-yes, sir?"

The General pulled up a nearby wheelie chair, flipped it around, and sat so that his crossed arms rested on the back of the chair. "Look, Walter called in sick, so I need you to take over for the next couple of days as Head Gate Technician. Walter said you were the best man for the job."

The technician's eyes widened. He could never handle that job. "I'll…do my best, sir."

O'Neill nodded. "See to it that you do, Sergeant." With that he stood up and left the room. Pausing at the door, he turned around to see the newly appointed Head Gate Technician fumbling around and fiddling with his computer nervously. Sighing, he knew today was going to be a very long day.

0o0o0o0o0

Not ten minutes after the General left, an older man came in carrying a stack of papers that reached his nose and looked around. Sighing, Phillips got up and walked over the man, taking the papers, "These are for Walter?" He nodded. "I'm filling in, I'll take them." The stack of papers was fairly heavy, and putting it on a nearby counter, he saw that they were mission reports. Glancing at the stack of at least eighty mission reports, Phillips groaned. What in the world was he supposed to do with these?

The delivery man looked genuinely concerned. "Oh…Sorry, man. I'll just go get the other ones."

Waiting until he turned around, Phillips sighed. "Others?"

The delivery guy came back in with another stack. And another. And another. By the time he had left, there were four different stacks crowded around Phillips's station. Looking over them, two stacks were mission reports, one was for commissary menu confirmations, and the biggest pile was for weapons requisitions. The temporary Head Gate Technician sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. And it was only eight a.m.

0o0o0o0o0o

Knocking on the General's door, Sam quietly walked into her CO's office. "Hey, Sir."

Jack looked up, "Oh, hey yourself, Carter. What's up?" The General leaned backwards in his chair and motioned for the Colonel to sit.

Sam smiled, momentarily ignoring the gesture. "Just came to drop off that report you asked for." After handing the folder to her friend, she put her hands in her pockets. "So how's the Walter fill-in doing, sir?"

"How did you know he was gone?"

"The entire base knows, sir. There's a betting pool about how long yo…he'll last."

Jack narrowed his eyes in suspicion of the Colonel's slip. He decided to let it go, for now. "Well, no major crises yet, although there has been a distinct lack of paperwork sitting on my desk…usually Walter brings me some every morning."

"Hmm. That must be nice." Carter sat in the chair across from her friend. The General couldn't tell if she meant it was nice for Walter to bring them or if it was nice that he didn't have any paperwork do. Before he could ask, the Colonel continued; "Why does Walter bring it anyway?"

Jack creased his eyebrows and made a box-type motion with his hands. "I think he, like, organizes it for me…or something. Never really did figure out how he got the paperwork to go to him before me." Shrugging, he continued, "Ah, well. I'll get to it when it gets to me, "he paused, "Would you like some coffee, Carter?"

"Sure, sir." Sam watched as the General looked around expectantly. "Sir?"

He waved her off. "Usually Walter brings me coffee, you know, whenever I feel like it."

Sam looked confused. "He just…knows, sir?"

"He's a mind-reader, "Jack said matter-of-factly, motioning vaguely to his head. "Apparently this new guy isn't."

Carter smiled. The General seemed genuinely put out. "I'm sorry to hear-"

"**Colonel Carter to the Gate Room. Repeat: Colonel Carter to the Gate Room."**

"I'd better go check that out, sir." Sam made to get up.

"And I should probably come with you. " The General opened the door to the briefing room and nodded for the Colonel to go before him. Together, they went down the stairs that led to the Gate Room.

Once there, Sam walked up to a very nervous Phillips. And when she saw him glance at the Gate, she figured out why she had been called. "The iris is stuck?"

Phillips nodded. "I tried it several times during the routine gate check-up. I called you as soon as I realized it wouldn't open."

The Colonel nodded and motioned for the technician to let her have his seat. Quickly, she pulled something up on the computer and after reading it, turned to the General. "It seems to be fine, sir." Then looking to the Sergeant "Was there anything else amiss during the check-up?"

"No, ma'am."

Sam turned back to the computer and laid her hand on the scanner that opened the iris. All three watched the Stargate apprehensively. And the iris slid opened easily. Phillips's cheeks turned a dark burgundy.

The General smiled and slapped the Colonel on the shoulder. "Well, looky there, Carter. It seems you have the magic touch."

Swiveling around in the chair, Sam looked up at her CO, "Not necessarily, sir. If the Gate is freezing sporadically, it could be very dangerous. Possibly more so than a permanently frozen iris because of the unknown factor. We'll have to run detailed diagnostics and I recommend stopping all Gate travel unless of an emergency, sir."

Phillips cleared his throat nervously, "Um…I don't think that's necessary, ma'am."

"I think we should let her decide that, don't you?" The General asked, slightly irritated.

"Well, no. I-I mean, yes. But I know why the Gate didn't work." The technician's blush deepened considerably, curiously.

"Would you care to_ enlighten_ us, Phillips?"

The Sergeant looked down at his feet. "I…uh…I…prssseddarngbtttn."

"Excuse me?"

"I pressed the wrong button. I…um…thought the scanner that closed the iris was the scanner next…to it. Sir."

O'Neill sighed deeply. "Just…make sure it doesn't happen again." And the man turned around and walked out of the room massaging his temple and muttering under his breath as though to calm himself down.

Carter, on the other hand, turned to face the technician and smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry about it Phillips. People mix up those two buttons all the time."

The Sergeant looked slightly relieved. "Oh. So you've done this before?"

Sam pursed her lips. "Well, no."

Phillips immediately looked worried again. "So...has Walter?"

This time the Colonel shook her head as if she regretted saying anything at all. "Not that I'm aware of, but don't worry too much about it. And," the Colonel paused, looking uncomfortable, "And, ah, I should go." Nodding a hasty goodbye, Sam fled the room through the same door as her CO.

0o0o0o0o0o

"You have greatly improved, Daniel Jackson."

"I try."

"Indeed." Teal'c and his teammate were well into their second sparring match of the day. They pounced back and forth, both sweaty and out of breath. So far, the Jaffa was winning, by a lot.

"Well then I must have been really bad before, because your kicking my-"Daniel opened his guard, mistakenly, to try for a punch to his friend's side. Teal'c quickly took advantage and jabbed Daniel in the chest, knocking him off-balance enough for the former First Prime to sweep him off his feet.

"You must keep up your guard at all times, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c bent over and offered a hand, waiting until the Doctor had gotten up until he went back into fighting stance.

"How do I do that _and_ hit you at the same time?" Jackson ignored his sore behind and mimicked the other man's position.

"Only strike when you think it will not compromise your guard." Teal'c feinted left and then right anticipating his opponent's moves easily. Daniel suddenly hooked his foot behind his friend's knee, making him stumble. The man's mouth showed a hint of a smile, and Jackson knew he had taken him by surprise. "That is also an acceptable alternative, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel opened his mouth to reply, but before he could, the non-emergent klaxons went off and a voice that should have been Walter's but wasn't sounded throughout the base.

"**General O'Neill, please report the briefing room immediately. General O'Neill please report the briefing room immediately."**

The linguist smiled as both sat on a nearby bench to take a break. "He must have forgotten another meeting. That's, what, the third time in two months?"

Teal'c nodded. "Indeed." The two sat in silence for several moments catching their breath and cooling off before another noise sounded over the intercom.

"**I'm gonna get you now! Die you alien scum! Die! Die! No…No that wasn't fair! Come on!" **The voice paused for a moment before continuing in a nervous voice, "**No! Don't kill me! "**

Daniel's eyes widened and he stood up for a moment. Worried the base was under attack, he looked to Teal'c as they both started heading quickly for the door of the workout room. But before they could go much farther, the voice sounded again.

"**Hey! BLUE-NEPTUNE341! You just killed my level sixty-three Overlord! But you can't get rid of me that easy! Do you know why? Because I have the Ultimate Orb! Watch me come back to life even more powerful than before! Yes, revenge is sweet!" **There was a short break, which was filled with both Teal'c and Daniel's barely contained laughter, when the voice came back on yet again, it just made them laugh even harder. **"Ha! Now **_**you're **_**dead. How does that make you feel now? Oh, wait…no! You have the Ultimate Orb, too! Darn-" **

"**Just what do you think you're doing?" **Daniel was almost crying, he was laughing so hard. He may not have known who the first voice was, but he could recognize Jack's almost anywhere.

"**Just…um…running some gate diagnostics, sir." **Oh, no, Daniel thought, the poor guy has absolutely no idea the base-wide intercom was on.

"**Oh, are you now? And where's the rest of your team?"**

"**There at lunch, sir."**

"**We'll, **_**Sergeant Phillips, "**_Daniel gasped when he realized that Jack had purposefully said the man's name over the intercom, purely to embarrass him, "**Did you know that **_**you left the intercom button on**_**?"**

"**Wha-? "**And suddenly, the noise stopped. Evidently, Jack had turned the intercom off.

After Daniel had caught his breath, and a moment of stunned silence, Teal'c looked over to his friend, eyes full of mirth, "I believe that I have just won the bet, Daniel Jackson. General O'Neill did indeed not last until lunchtime."

The linguist scowled, reaching into his pockets for his wallet. "Well, darn."

0o0o0o0o0o0

General O'Neill walked briskly down the hallway to the main elevators. After the last incident with Phillips, he was in need of a work out. He just couldn't believe the man's obtuseness. After all, the Sergeant was a certified Gate Technician, which, granted, meant he didn't have access to the iris or the base-wide intercom, but still; those things were pretty straight forward. What irked him even more, though, was that Walter had recommended the guy in the first place. He obviously wasn't Head Gate Technician material. How come Walter had thought so?

As he neared the elevators, Jack looked up and pushed the 'down' button, and began rocking on his heels as he waited. Soon, the elevator dinged and out walked…"Walter!" Startled, the Sergeant looked up to see the CO of the SGC barreling into him to envelop him a big hug. Quickly, O'Neill pulled back and grabbed the man by his arms. "Your back!"

Walter nodded, embarrassed, "Yes, sir. I'm…feeling much better."

Jack stepped back at that. Giving the technician a once-over, he saw that he looked good, almost like he had never even been sick in the first place. And the severe stuffiness he had heard over the phone was completely gone. "Walter?" He asked curiously, "You look fine. Why don't you look sick?"

The General saw him hesitate. "Like I said, sir, I feel much better."

Jack wasn't buying it; Harriman was acting way too guilty. He decided to call his bluff. "Why don't you just take the rest of the day off? You might still be contagious." He stepped back to add to the effect.

There was a longer hesitation before, "I was never sick. I faked it over the phone." The General raised his eyebrows, silently telling him to continue. "There was a bet going around that if I ever took a holiday, you'd…well you would…"

"Freak out?"

"Um…yes, sir. Something to that affect. Sir."

O'Neill pursed his lips, wondering how he should take that. Sighing, he knew he wasn't really mad, besides, he was curious. "Who won?"

Walter thought for a moment. "I think Teal'c did, sir." Suddenly, the two were interrupted by an airman jogging towards them.

"Sir, you're needed in the Gate Room. Sergeant Phillips somehow shut off all power to the Embarkation Room and surrounding areas."

Jack groaned, motioning forward. "Lead the way, airman."

0o0o0o0o0

Walking next to the General as they followed the airman, Walter smiled. It was true that he had planned the entire thing, even recommending Philips as an alternate. Still, it was nice to know he was irreplaceable.

0o0o0o0o

THE END! PLEASE REVIEW!


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